H is for the help she always gave me, U is for her unimposing care,
M is for her many many virtues, I is for her instinct to be there,
L is for her love that never falters, I, impressive in most every way,
A, amazing gifts of kindly nurture, T the tears I shed when she's away
I and O for all the things I owe her, N for everything I never say...
Line them up they spell HUMILIATION ... the gift I give my mother on this day!
Over at USS Mariner
, Derek Zumsteg reports
that for their Mother's Day promotion last Sunday, the Tacoma Rainiers buried a diamond ring in the infield, and --- I wish I were joking --- sent women out to dig for it with plastic spoons